Random Thoughts of an Idle Mind


Can cows be Heard?

What happens when a pig gets a sty in its eye?

If a football is called a pigskin what is a pig’s skin called?

Does anyone really want a home where the buffalo roam?

Was Cleopatra was a royal pain in the asp?

Cesar invented a diet salad which failed because dieters always et tu much!

Is Wine what you get when you screw up while attempting to make vinegar?

Sediment is what you say when you have to repeat an answer to “What kind of candy is that?”

Is the failure of the government due to Elect Wrong theory!

Mental illness is normally diagnosed after one synapses.

Manipulate is the delayed physical development of a female.

He who laughs last is usually embarrassed!

Are even numbers against all odds?

What is the most observed bird seen by the Portuguese  in Portugal? Geese or Gulls?

A Straight Flush is what happens when you flush the toilet at the Equator!

A laugh a minute would equate to 1440 laughs a day or 525,600 laughs a year while Snickers are meals!

If the Milky Way was created by Mars why isn’t it Red?

What lies south of the Borders Book Store?

Why is the Phrase “Tongue Twister” easy to say?

Is a Pin Prick a sexual dysfunction?

Do you get sticky buns when you sit on a  cinnamon roll?

How many times can there be “Once in a Blue Moon”?

Impossible/Improbable Tasks:

Zipping up a Fly

Buttoning your Lip

Combing your Hare

Driving a Golf Ball

Fishing for Faxes

Going thru the McDonald’s Drive thru in a Big Mac Truck

Starting a Rumor

Reiterating without first Iterating

New Definitions:

Circumference = A Knighted Porn Star who resides in France

Dolly Llama = A Pet Owned by Dolly Pardon

Ham Hock = Selling you Christmas Ham at a Pawn Shop

Prawn Shop = Where to Hock your Shrimp

Repeat = To apply a second layer of Peat Moss to you garden

Iterate = Repeat

Reiterate= Applying a fourth layer of Peat Moss to your Garden

Synonymous = Committing a Sin Anonymously

Inference = Where you are when your plane lands in Paris.

Utters = Dem

Dem = Utters

Fluoride = What an  aspirin does when  you drop it on the floor

Dogma = Role of a Female Canine that just gave birth to a litter

Reincarnation = What you do when your Corsage falls off

Cyclops = Sounds made by a depressed/angry people stomping their feet.

Rough = The sound a Dog makes when asked how his day was

Yeast = Ingredient used to make the Sun come up in the morning

Drama = What a Kindergartener does with big Crayons

Unbeknown = I don’t know the answer to this one!

Horror = Trying to make a decision  between a Lady of the Night or a High Priced Call Girl

Badminton = One of a pair of Mittens with a hole in it.

Prime Rib = What Adam gave Eve

Moron = Additions to this list at a later date!

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