Twas The Night Before Cruising


Twas the night before Cruising, when all through the house
Every creature was stirring, even our mouse.
The Luggage was placed by the front door with care,
In hopes that Cruise Day soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of the water slides danced in their heads.
And mamma in her Bikini, and I in my spedo,
Had just rattled our brains on whether these go

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my lazy boy recliner to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature limo, and a tinny Chauffeur.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be the driver Nick.
More rapid than eagles his courser he came,
And I whistled, and shouted, and called him by name!

“Hey Nick! Yo, Nick! NICK!, NIKEY and NICHOLAS!
On, the Street! Near the Curb! In or on the Driveway!
Move the Limo off my porch! Stay Clear of the wall!
Now move away! Move away! Move away all!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers he flew,
With the a Limo full of GAS, and Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and stomping of his very large shoes.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney dumb ass Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in black, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
Holding a large bag and a paper Sack,
He looked like a burglar, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they leered! his dimples how scary!
His cheeks were like strawberries, his nose was hairy!
He drooled from his mouth which was a disgusting show,
And his unshaven beard of his chin needed to go!

The stump of a cigar he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke that encircled his head was rancid and reeked.
He had a broad face and a big fat belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of Melted Garlic Butter?

He was chubby and plump, a gross old man,
And I gagged when I saw him, and turned on the fan!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I was soon to be dead.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And stole all the luggage, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger inside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his limo, and then gave a shout,
And then drove the limo down the side of the house,
But I heard him mumble, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
“Ya Should Have Booked with Carnival!” Nighty Nite!

2 responses to “Twas The Night Before Cruising

  1. I just wanted to say, I well enjoyed your blog post and I added your link to my wordpress blog today as a recommended site. This is the blog I was looking for! Thanks

  2. I just wanted to say, I absolutely enjoyed your blog post and I added your link to my wordpress blog today as a recommended site. This is the blog I was looking for! Thanks

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