Hey guys, am I right or wrong here. Hey Women… I already know I’m wrong!
Regardless of the lyrics in a song, sung by a woman, that goes “It’s a Man’s world…” I’m here to tell you it’s a woman’s world. And Women will tell me I’m wrong, which is part of the problem. In fact I think it’s a conspiracy against us.
It is said that in a relationship all a man wants to do, when a woman has a problem (known as an issue) is to fix the problem. It is also stated that women don’t want a fix it man, they just want you to listen and understand their feelings…unless it has to do with a leaking faucet, broken appliance, lawn mowed, take the trash out ,… and poof now they need a fix it man. Don’t listen to my feelings … just take out that damn trash.
Well women … practice what you preach and listen to this and fix it. (Like that will happen.)
First I believe (no proof) that most of the companies or researchers that developed a medication for men who have parts of thier body that, for whatever reason, won’t come to attention at the apprioated time are owned by woman.
One product introduced last about 3 days unless a guy ends up at attention for more than four hours. Selling point. It will physically enhance your ability to ‘BE READY’ when the time comes.
OKAY GUYS …. you know that predicting when that ready time is, is totally impossible. Ready 24 hours a day for 3 days, another pill, 24 hours a day for 3 days, etc.. And after BEING READY all this time you run out of your months supply and then and only then… IT’s TIME! BAD JOKE LADIES.
What a man needs to do is develop a product for woman to be always ready. Called EXTRA EXTRA STRENGTH ASPRIN .. Take daily so a woman will never ever get a headache.
Moving on, women comment on men .. they need to wear this type of clothes, button your shirt, straighten your tie, don’t where those pants, comb your hair, shave, don’t say this don’t say that, don’t shuffle your feet when you walk, don’t use this language, don’t embarrase me, and on and on. And they set you up for the big fall by asking the question: “DO THESE PANTS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?”
And what do we do.. We do as we are told because we stupidly hope that perhaps, just pehaps that if we do all these things, this is the night that 29 days of being ready will come to fruition. We know the odds are against it.
What we should do is eveytime we are told how we MUST improve ourselves say “HONEY, YOU SOUND LIKE YOUR IRRATATED. HERE HAVE AN ASPRIN.”
And further more. What if we do clean up our act. Go take a shower. Shave, put some nice aromatic cologne on (we call it aftershave), dress as we are told.
Well we can do that .. IF AND ONLY IF we can make it sanely through the shower process.
Man shower …. Get Wet. Use Soap, Use Shampoo, and if you have crappy hair like mine, or even you even have hair on your head by this time, conditioner.
Yup .. Just go for the soap and shampoo and conditioner in the shower. We know what that is. It’s a bar of soap and a bottle of shampoo labeled “SOAP” and “SHAMPOO”. Hard to screw that up.
BUT WAIT there’s more to this. Woman have a shelf in the shower with colorful bottles of STUFF. Many colorful bottles of stuff. Some sit right side up, others upside down, some hang from the shower curtain rod, some on a rope.
And as we get older, this goes for both men and women, our eyesight gets worse. The Women know what is in what bottle, and in some way most are secretly color coded for each product.
So as we guys take a shower we grab one of the bottles. Not only can we not read it in the shower, with our bad eyesight. THE DAM PRODUCT LABEL IS WRITTEN IN SOME FORIEGN LANGUAGE.
If you squirt the stuff out of the bottle and the liquid is opquae.. there is a chance it is conditioner. This is only a chance. If it is clear the chance it is shampoo or some kind of soap. And if it smells like amonia … DON”T USE IT BECAUSE YOU WILL COME OUT OF THE SHOWER AS A BLEACH BLOND. And you will end up the your little primed frend that lives with hopless anticpation to be burned to where any excitment will make it feel like a crispy fireplace fire log.
And even if you succeed in getting it all right or even come close and end up coming out of the shower smelling like an orchid, chances are there is a headache in someones future.
But guys we got to do what we got to do. Stand up for ourselves and protest this type of male bashing. But if we know whats good for us, we’ll just keep going along with it.
All we have to do is this. If you take the little blue pill – take an asprin with it. Aspirin Lowers Blood Pressure, decreases chance of heartattack (which could occur should our partner not have a headache), and calm the nerves.
And then again … REVENGE… Don’t take out the trash, dress as you wish, use inapproiate language with her friends, just ignore honey do’s … AND HIDE THE ASPRIN!
Will I get in trouble from my woman for writing this. Maybe .. but when it comes to what is called MAKE UP SEX…SURPRISE!!!… I”M OUT OF PILLS.